The Great Pause

7.24.2020

Even writing the date down, it doesn’t feel like it could possibly be July. How is this year half over? I’ve been done with 2020 since March. Even still, I feel uneasy about the time going by so fast.

I’ve experienced some really tough losses, struggles with my close family, and a relationship on the rocks. I’ve lost some really wonderful friendships from boldly standing my ground on my core beliefs.

My first phone therapy appointment during this pandemic in March, my therapist suggested that instead of mourning what I’ve missed out on, people I’ve lost, or some other negative thinking about what this pandemic has ruined, to reframe my thinking.

Instead of calling the coronavirus international pandemic a shut down, my therapist referred to the former as “the great pause”.

To pause the craziness of the world as we know it and to look internally about what our true needs are.

To take advantage of the time off of work, as I was dangerously close to burn out (so much so that my therapist offered to contact my psychiatrist and get me a letter to take emergency medical leave of absence, just so I could be forced to slow down.

To appreciate my loved ones more than ever, and never forget the healing power of a warm embrace.

Not being able to go shopping, to the movies, or to concerts, but having the time to read, write, meditate, pray. All this time i

I’m the queen of saying that there’s not enough time to read, write, meditate, pray. Not enough time to exercise, hike, run, practice yoga. Not enough time to make home cooked meals, meal prep, even pack my lunch. Not enough time, not enough time, not enough time.

I’ve learned that I’m wrong. There’s plenty of time. I just spent my time on other things. There’s nothing wrong with the activities I listed before. There just wasn’t any balance.

Before the pandemic I didn’t plan out my time well, I spent hours on social media (at the beginning of quarantine, my iPhone told me that I spent over 7 hours of my phone in one day). I was shocked. I have become more mindful of my time and my energy.

I have become more focused on who I am and what I want. I needed to pause, look inward, and let myself grow. I hope you can do this too.

happy is as happy does

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